you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
