Sry I called you an 8
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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