you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
