Got a toothbrush?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Hippo gnu deer
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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