1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
