Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
