Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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