I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Fuck appropriateness.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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