Your mouth is God's brothel.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
