my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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