Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
