bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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