hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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