So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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