I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
