this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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