I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize