just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
