Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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