before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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