Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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