the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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