with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
