peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I can't turn off my feet"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
