well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
