Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize