it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
