I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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