You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
