you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
