My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think a kid would responsible me up
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
