I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Randomize
