cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
