My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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