yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
