I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
