you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
so much tequila, so little girl.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
