Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize