So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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