no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize