found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
