i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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