i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
