have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
