its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
