Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
