I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
