I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
