My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i will never coherently bang her
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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