I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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