Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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