Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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