found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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