escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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