Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
