just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
