i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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